Whoops, I’ve been absent for a bit, haven’t I? I’ve been down with an attack of the April’s, you see.
I don’t know why exactly (although I’ve got a theory: it could be bunnies*) it happens every year, but starting in April, I always go through a depressive period. The joys of spring tend to be less than joyous. Not every day, for every thing, because there are lots of things that objectively I love about this time of the year. But mentally, it’s not one of my best times. Some years it’s lasted for months, getting worse and worse until I’ve been in a right state. Others, it’s been better, and it’s only really since I’ve been diagnosed with the bipolar that I’ve been keeping proper track anyway. But since then it’s depended on my medication, my own and others’ awareness of my mental state, and how soon it’s picked up on and started to be dealt with.
*or seriously, something to do with stuff that happened when I was around 18 which I won’t bore you with now, but was at this time of year. And btw, name that fannish reference!
This time, I only had about a week (or maybe 10 days… it blurs) of not being able to move out of bed / eat / etc. After that, there was a thankfully quite short period of getting myself back into a more normal routine again, and now I’m feeling a lot better. Hoorah! Interestingly (to me anyway *g*) getting back to normal once I’d been able to recognise and start coping with the depression as depression just took about three or four days. Before I got really low, I’d been struggling with a wonky sleep routine and lack of motivation for a good couple of weeks, and I was frustrated and annoyed with myself for not being able to sort it out. Now, I can “forgive” myself for all that because now I realise it was the start of the low mood swing. I’m not quite sure if I could have done anything at that time to head the low off… perhaps that’s something to talk to someone (doctor? CPN? counsellor?) about.
However, like I said above, there are things I do love about this time of year, so it certainly hasn’t all been doom and gloom. I haven’t got out and about as much as I’d like of course, but I did get to enjoy the snow at my Mum’s house, the sun in my flat (I have huge windows and my bedroom is a sun-trap), and the sea-air down on the seafront once or twice as well. And of course, being inside so much, I have got some knitting done, and a lot of reading. I did sleep most of the time when I was down (and I do mean most of the time: generally 16-20 hours a day!) but when I was awake, I was at least able to do those things.
What did I knit? Well, I’ll talk about that more in another post, but I finished my Pentathlon socks (yay!), I’m making two pairs of baby bootees for Ally’s little ‘un (who is due next week – the 23rd), and I’m working on Mum’s birthday present (also 23rd). Things are going much faster now I’m feeling more myself again, of course. Which is nice :-)
I’m behind on Project 365 of course – there are only so many photos I could take of the inside of my flat anyway *g*. What are you sposed to do when you miss some days, I wonder? Just skip them, or fudge it and fill the gaps with spare shots from other days? Is there a school of thought on that?